Dear Mr. Roth,
I like you Asher, I like you a lot. Your Mixtape, The Greenhouse Effect Vol. 1, produced by DJ Drama and Don Cannon is brilliant. Your raps are genius. Sometimes cheeky and hilarious, with tracks like "Cartoon Chick" and the Brittany Spears rework "Gimme Your Box". Sometimes intelligent and insightful like the accapella "Just Listen". You even have a Black Mags remix that rivals the flows from The Cool Kids original. You have tracks produced by Diddy, Kayne, Chuck English, and Dr. Dre (which I can't begin to understand how that was pulled off). Simply put The Greenhouse Effect was an ingenious first release, and "Asleep In The Bread Isle" sounds really promising with its guest vocals and beats from Ludacris Cee-Lo, and Lady GaGa. You've been able to pull from all the styles of Hip-Hop, and you do it well.
But Asher, I have one little qualm I'd like to talk about,
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE I LOVE COLLEGE?
Seriously, what the fuck is that cockmix of a track Asher? I understand you graduated from West Chester University with a degree in Elementary Education, but now you've taken it too far. I just want to know what happened? You spit 150 bars to Jay-z straight out. You rapped to him about fucking Ashley Olsen, that's hardcore. Now what? You're hanging out with Dave Matthews Band and playing Sublime covers on the quad? What's next? Trucker hats and hemp sandals? Performances at Bonnaroo?
Asher, what happened? Thats all I want to know. You're lucky you listened to your fans and made that "A Milli" remix. You own Lil' Wayne's soul now, but things are really up in the air with us right now. I guess call me when your album drops. If its as bang-up as it looks maybe I can love you again.
Oh, and Asher, Don't come back to Philly until you fucking fail out. It'll be a good life lesson, Thanks.
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Well, I'd like to point out that Asher's advice of using two condoms is a bad idea. At least according to medical professionals. But hey, I've been to frat parties, maybe he's not actually using the condoms on humans. In that case, I guess two would be fine.
ReplyDeleteBTW: His place in the world is currently every Reform Jewish frat boy's wet dream. I knew a thousand of those kids at Penn. The fact that he's the first one to do it actually surprises me.
To be honest, I haven't heard anything by Asher Roth except this song! But when I listened to a few off the mixtape... I want to punch this dude in the face. Seriously, college is sweet, but how do you get famous off a song like that? I would have given him fame for the Cool Kids remix. Also, I thoroughly enjoy your usage of the word "cockmix." That is all.
ReplyDeletedude is handsome and talented and jewish and when those come together you get lots of pretty girls with black hair.
ReplyDeletebut, he doesn't have much of a voice. but he gets credit for not treating suburban lifestyle as perfectly isomorphic with the hood.